Mental Health and Christmas
Christmas is a time of joy and celebration. It’s an opportunity to spend time with loved ones, give thanks for what we have, and remember what matters most. On the other hand, Christmas can also bring up some painful memories for people who have been through difficult times in their lives or with their families.
If you are a part of a broken family or are estranged from your family, Christmas time can be a serious trigger. While the advertising and “festive cheer” that seems to propagate the general public during the month of December can’t be avoided, focusing our time and energy on making a new meaning for Christmas, one that is aligning with our values can often be helpful. Here are some tips on how to do that:
Write a big list of everything you like about Christmas. It could be the food, the presents, the colours, the carols etc. Once this is done, brainstorm ways in which you could incorporate them into your Christmas. Here are some examples:
I love the food! But being estranged means I can’t have that big feast. Solution: Invite a few friends over close to Christmas and ask everyone to bring a dish.
I love the carols. Solution: Visit the local council Christmas carols or have a night in and watch on tv! Make a favourite drink, have your favourite snacks, wear comfy clothes and you’re all set!
Donate to a charity or volunteer. There are many organisations that would appreciate it!
If you have a friend who invites you to their home for Christmas, consider taking them up on their offer. Whilst it can feel uncomfortable it does mean that you have people present around you should you feel vulnerable or need support.
Stay in an Airbnb over Christmas. While there, do something that keeps you away from the commercialism of Christmas such as going for a hike/bushwalk (be sure to inform someone of your route), going to a beach, visiting antique shops etc.
If you know someone who is a part of a broken family or is estranged from their family, here are some tips on how to approach the topic of Christmas with them:
Be conscious of how you talk about your Christmas plans. Whilst it is completely understandable to feel excited about your plans, it can be helpful to empathise when we’re expressing our excitement by putting ourselves in the other’s shoes. It can be disheartening to those who don’t have plans with family to hear friends boast about their Christmas plans.
Ask them how they are feeling as Christmas approaches. That’s right folks, talking about our feelings is not taboo! It is likely the person being asked will greatly appreciate the time taken to check-in. When they answer, be sure to listen! It’s not so much about providing solutions, but really understanding where they are coming from.
Send them a Christmas card in the mail. This is typically a well-received gesture that isn’t too full on. It’s a way to say you’re thinking of them during this time.
Organise a Christmas catchup. This can involve something as simple as going for coffee. This gives the person a chance to still celebrate what Christmas means to them, with a person they feel comfortable with.
Remember, not everyone spends Christmas with their family. It may be hard for a few days, but you can get through it and are not alone.
Our Psychologists at Tonic Psychology
